Tiger Mothers

When I'm out in my garden or grabbing something from my car I hear them practicing while my kids are busy playing on the hill that is our backyard. These pianists who, no older than 4th grade, are already playing difficult virtuosoes and minuets. They are most certainly raised by a Tiger mother. I never see them play outside. In fact, I only ever see the boy when he emerges from the house right when the bus is pulling to the curb. I don't know if they have sleepovers... how could I since I never see their mother outside to chat with either. Amy Chua's words ring in my head about her Chinese mother every time the hum of bees mixes with Mozart as my fingers curl around a cucumber, plucking it from the vine.

It doesn't bother me... too much. Okay, maybe a little. I wonder if my kids will become doctors and engineers like theirs. I think of another kind of Tiger mother who has her children with private athletic coaches by the time they're 8.  Being that my girls have only dribbled a basketball for fun... never even been to a clinic or played an actual game makes me want to give up on them having any sort of playing time come high school.  Perhaps we should forget about them becoming first chair at anything in band since we've had no professional music lessons either.

Then I think of how Amy's daughter's were taught if they weren't the best at something they were failures. I think of how standing in Carnegie Hall Amy was discontent that her daughter had played in a smaller concert hall instead of the big one and scheming how to get there. And I think why?   What does it prove? That my child is the best?  That I'm the best mom?

As I carry in my never-ending 3 cucumbers (it always seems there are three ready to harvest) I remind myself that raising kids isn't about perfection. Success is not measure in best or better. My goal as a mother is to teach my children about more than piano lessons and math problems. These things are important. But they aren't everything. Math and Science is only one portion of my children's education. It should also include loving God, others, and the world around us.

Enter the conversation. What do you feel is important?






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